Warm September day finds self
Riding, life in which there has not been
Another, a second elegy penned for Jane
That’s not to say we have never fallen
Conditions pardon quite the opposite
Yes-- she’s still not here, and me?
Spared, so unlucky as to survive
Murder’s black eyes, the final stare
It was a mistake, being born a woman
I should be found more useful as a horse
Fancy, I do-- playing the company anyhow
An eternity left to carry strangers in circles
White braids unravel porcelain hours
Hoofs ticking down more fruitless vine
Perpetually, humanity tries to displace
Such lives, a little too in love with death.
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I love some of your lines and line breaks. "murder's black eyes, the final stare" is particularly nice. Also like the last stanza-last two lines. The poem remains a bit too abstract for me. I also wonder about the antiquated language in the 3rd stanza.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's a reference to Theodore Roethke's poem "An Elegy for Jane (My Student Thrown from a Horse)" It's about my first time riding a horse and daydreaming about what it might be like to fall off and die (a little dark I know). Thanks for your advice as well.
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